The competition I am entering my script into is the Blue cat Screenplay competition which is a company founded by Gordy Hoffman a successful script writer to get young script writers work noticed. The prize for the winner of a short screenplay is $10,000 and the runner ups get $1500.
Script Conventions Example
1. Slugline - The slugline of a screen play tells you the location of the scene and the time of day. E.g. EXT. SCARBOROUGH - SEASIDE - DAWN
2. Dialogue - The dialogue of a scene is when the protagonists exchanges in speech either with someone or by themselves. Dialogue is usually used when something can't be conveyed in the Action.
3. Action/Scene Direction - The Action of a scene is the description of what is happening in the scene. This is the most used part in a screenplay as it is what helps producers and directors transfer the text into a visual product if a script is published.
4. Scene Number - This is the number of the scene.
5. Character - This is the name of the protagonist appering in the scene.
Script Examples
Jamica Inn
Inner Presence - is the protagonists inner thoughts and personality. This presence is harder to portray in visual media products as it is harder to portray the character. It is mostly better used in novels as you can easily devote a section to describing the inner presence by metioning her goals and wants. However many scripts contain Inner presence to get a good thought on the protagonist's attitude. For example "MARY YELLAN is 20,pretty,quietly, unconventional, a strong sense of right and wrong" from this we can know more about the protagonist from the inside. I think in this script it is used well to tell us of the protagonist upbringing and morals.
The Passing Bells
Outer Presence - is the protagonist impression given on the outside of her character. The presence can consist of body language and clothing. This presence is what directors look for to create the text into a visual product. As outer presence can be easily shown through the visual format I feel like this should be the most used presence when writing a script. Outer presence is shown when Michael is described. E.g. "A very nervous Michael enters a church hall full of men, he looks very much like a young boy". In this script the outer presence isn't used that much however when it is used it is quite effective. The dialogue is also well used because it gives us a hint on the Michael's personality.
Dialogue - is the characters speech. This is used to establish relationships and to progress the narrative. It is only usually used when something can't be conveyed in the action. With a lot of dialogue in the script it can ruin the immersion of the scene and can feel overused. In this script although I think it is overused I feel like the dialogue is needed to establish the characters moods and personalities. E.g. " Nah, its gonna be a piece of cake.". This clearly shows that this character is confident in herself and the other is more submissive. E.g. "Does your stomach keep doing somersaults cos mine does". The dialogue effectivly gives the audience a side of the what makes the characters unique from the others.
Scene Direction/Action - is the description of what is happening in the scene including the enviorment. This gives the audience the overall look of the scene. Scene direction is probably the most importaunt aspect of script writing and what takes up most of the size of the screenplay. This is because the script writer needs to tell the audience what he/she sees in his mind which is what needs to be. In this screenplay the scene direction can be a very useful tool to build tension. I like the way this is done as it is the script writer's job to see what he wants us to see and I feel he did this very well.
Short Films
I liked this short film because of the use of dialogue. As we are currently learning about the use of dialogue this short film shows how to use it effectively. In screenplays you shouldn't use too much dialogue as it should only be used when you can't get across something in the scene direction. I also admire this short film because I could tell the narrative was progressing without any dialogue. Before I learned about screenplays I couldn't really notice this.
I liked this short film because of the comedy and the scene direction. If this was a screenplay I would imagine it would mostley be made up of a lot of scene direction. It is also a very good example of not needing much dialogue to progress a narrative. It is very clear to the audience of the tree act structure. Act 1 is the man entering the resturant and hiding under the womans table. Act 2 is the woman giving the man her address. Act 3 is the man getting under the table in the womans own apartment. In my opinion the scene direction in the script would be one to idealise.
Audience Research
For qualitative data I was able to obtain some from asking some of my peers in my class. These people were males aged 16-18. As we discussed my idea of a civilian war drama many people liked the idea. They mostly liked the idea of the script being based on todays events and we felt it needed to be adressed. When finding this information out it was during when I pitched my idea to my peers. It was mostly in the style of a focus group were many opinions were given. It was also mentioned that one of my acts wasn't very good. Originally I wanted the character to be moved by the death of his friend's parents and be pushed into commiting the final act however it was discussed that the deaths were unnessersary something else sould happen instead of this and I also ageed.
Themes Location and Character
Aleppo River
The aleppo river is one of my locations in the script. When thinking of this scene I knew it had to be near a river however I didn't know of any river in Aleppo. I then researched into this and found one. I noticed that it also was affected by war. There were news storys on the river being haing bodys discovered after a masscre happened. I was sad to see this and decided to dedicate a scene to showing how the city of Aleppo should be instead of being plagued by war.
Syrian Clothing
In my script there is some description on some of the dress code in Syria. This consists of a variety of robes and headdresses. I wanted to include this to make the script authentic and to contain a true representation of Syrian culture.
The Great Aleppo Mosque
A landmark in my film is used often to show the influence of religion in the middle east. The landmark is a mosque which is known as The Great Mosque of Aleppo were people who follow the religion of Islam can use at there own expense. In 2012 the mosque was destroyed by the fighting between the free Syrian army and the Syrian army. My film will be set before this time just when the fighting started and people were just trying to live their own lives in peace.
Existing Media Texts and Influences
The Boy Who Painted Aleppo
One particular media text that has some similarities is the BBC Radio 4 drama "The Boy Who Painted Aleppo". This media text recently was produced and aired just after I had made my script idea on a Muslim graffiti in Aleppo Syria. This is similar to my script as the themes of the script are war, freedom and love. Also the location is the same in both my script and the radio drama. My script is set in Aleppo Syria just after Isis is taking the fight to Aleppo. The plot is centered around the main protagonist who has aspergur syndrome who is trying to live his life in the town of Aleppo the oldest city in Syria.
Ghosts of Aleppo
The Ghosts of Aleppo is a documentary series on YouTube based on the conflict between the Syrian Rebels and the Regime. This documentary inspired the location of the script because I found the documentary to be very informative on what was going on in Syria. It also inspired the main protagonist of my script. I saw in the documentary teenagers involved in the war however I knew that there opinion wasn't the only one. This is why I incorporated a younger protagonist because I thought it would have a much more bigger impact on my audience. ISIS has been covered in the media a lot since the supposed beheading's of American and British journalists
Bansky Captured Video
Bansky is a very famous graffiti artist in British society, so when I saw this video of him being arrested it caught my attention. For my idea practice assignment, a way in which we were supposed to come up with an idea was to look for news story's we could use to generate a narrative. I had already watched the Ghosts of Aleppo documentary so when I saw this video I decided to combine both this story and the current conflict happening in Syria.
Slumdog Millionaire
Slumdog Millionaire is one of my favourite films because of the way that the slums our portrayed through the cinematography. It is shown that the place has beauty however the problems of poverty distort it. With my screenplay it can relate a lot to this film as I want to mainly focus on the scene direction to get across that it has the potential to be a beautiful place however the war greatly owerwhelmes the visual appeal.
Bibliography
"The Boy Who Painted Aleppo"
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b04nqpd0
Date of Access - 05/12/2014
Based on Novel by Sumia Sukkar
"Vice News Documentary The Ghosts of Aleppo"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwSnyQYy5SE&list=PLw613M86o5o5bEeIa64gN-N1ExftqeRZr
Date of Access - 05/12/2014
Made by Vice News
"Bansky Captured Video"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRlC9S7j2Mk
Date of Access - 05/12/2014
News story by National Report
"Aleppo River News story"
http://www.hrw.org/news/2013/06/04/syria-stream-bodies-aleppo-s-river
Date of Access - 22/01/2015
News story by Human Rights Watch .ORG
"Addicted To The Stars"
http://shortsbay.com/film/addicted-to-the-stars
Date of Access - 22/01/2015
Radford M. Shortsbay Addicted To The Stars
"Medium Rare"
http://shortsbay.com/film/medium-rare
Date of Access - 22/01/2015
Stuckert S. Shortsbay Medium Rare
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